FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent
condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
A seriously depressed woman stands at the edge of a cliff, trying to
get the nerve up to jump.
A passing hobo stops and says,
"Since you're about to kill yourself anyway, would you mind if we had sex first?"
The woman said "Hell no... Get away from me...you’re a sicko!"
The bum turned to leave and muttered, "Fine, I'll just go wait at the bottom."