The Shakin' Martinis

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Two guys in a bar are talking about their wives.

"My wife is mad at me again," says the first.

"Why?"

"I was bombed at the bar across the street last night and she came looking for me."

"What'd you do?"

"I asked her for her phone number."

"Now here's something historical. In January, all five living presidents are scheduled to have lunch together. Clinton suggested the VIP room at Hooters." -- David Letterman